Look at this picture. I’m scarred for life. Seriously.
And with more than just this one. I have another large scar on my stomach.
And another all the way around the top of my head.
And another large one along the back of my head and neck.
Crazy, right? But guess what? I’m a huge fan of all my scars and would show them off everywhere, everyday if I could. I’m proud of them and how they represent everything I’ve managed to survive, even when after each surgery I felt like I was just barely hanging on.
That’s my message for this week: be proud of your scars. Some scars are physical. Some scars are mental (yes, I have a LOT of those as well). But scars are a part of our story. Scars show that we’ve been through something extremely difficult and persevered. We shouldn’t feel the need to cover them up or hide them. We should wear them with pride. We should show them off and let people know that difficult things can be conquered. Yes, we get injured in the process. We get changed forever. But that doesn’t mean that we’re LESS of a person. It means we’re MORE. If that change and those scars allow us to fight a battle and make progress, then we should wear them as a badge of honor. You are a warrior.
I have to admit that one of my scar heroes is Padma Lakshmi, host of Top Chef — one of my favorite indulgences while being bedridden for so many years. She has a large scar on her arm. I truthfully don’t know what it is from, but whatever her story is, she has triumphed over some kind of difficulty and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE how she wears it boldly and doesn’t try to cover it up. She flaunts it and I applaud her for setting a great example for so many of us.
A little bit of an update since so many of you are kind enough to ask:
Today marks 8 days post-op. I have survived 8 days! It definitely feels like it has been longer for sure. Overall I’m still in a lot of pain. More than expected due to the leftover fluid and blood in my lungs from the pulmonary edema. I’m still coughing up a bit here and there, but no more than once a day now, luckily.
I also have quite a bit of bloating. Bloating is a whole different story. I’m familiar with the whole post-op bloatedness. It was really bad with my MALS surgery back in 2016, but right now, it’s a whole different level of unbearable. Good thing I have a knack for forgetting the details of the traumatic post-op pain I experience. Try picturing getting a kidney transplant and not having a bowel movement for 9-10 days. It’s not so fun. (Sorry if that’s TMI …)
However, if you’re needing to gain weight, I would recommend an auto-kidney transplant because I gained 10 pounds overnight.
My mom and older sister have been watching me during the day since they have the luxury of working at home while my husband has to go to work. While my older sister, Jen, and I were talking yesterday, she took that first picture and said that she wanted to compare it to when I’m ACTUALLY pregnant.
As for the incision pain, it’s a lot less than I was expecting. Especially because it looks so gnarly and is so big. Maybe the other pain is masking the incision pain right now, but either way I’m happy.
I feel so grateful to my husband, his family, my family, and our friends that have loved and supported us during this hard time of pain, as it has been quite an adjustment. Everyone has been so kind with their words of encouragement and support. It’s making me want to Scream a little less everyday. Thank you for the love!